This is What Happens When I Eat to Many Pixie Stix
by Chaos19
Summary: Tifa, Aeris, cat fight. 'Nuff said. Some other random things occur. Man I'm sugar high right now.


This Is What Happens When You Eat To Many Pixie Stix  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or places in this fanfic. In a just world I would, but since this country is messed up, I do not.  
  
It was just another day in Costa Del Cloud (Cloud's home in Costa Del Sol). Aeris and Tifa had yet again gotten in a fight over Cloud. Vincent was watching Dracula.  
  
Vincent: Jeez. If a weakling like Dracula could kill so many people so easily, just imagine what I could do in that town.  
  
Red XIII: I'm hungry. Get me some goddamn food.  
  
Barret: Red, don't you know that using the lord's name in vain is a sin. You gonna go ta hell for that.  
  
Barret had started reading the holy bible a week ago. He was almost done with it. Cait Sith was sitting in the corner collecting dust since the loser that used to control him had managed to find a life. Cid was in the bedroom sleeping while smoking, drinking, and swearing. Yuffie, as usual, was being unbearably annoying.  
  
Yuffie: Lets do something.  
  
All: NO!  
  
Yuffie: Hey Vince, lets go to the beach,  
  
Vincent: NO! NOT THE BEACH. NOT THAT INFERNAL PLACE OF HAPPINESS AND LAUGHTER AND...AND....AND LIGHT!  
  
Yuffe: Hey Cid, give me something to smoke.  
  
As Yuffie reaches for one of Cid's cigarettes, Cid wakes up.  
  
Cid: What the $&&$^$ are you %$&&&* doing you &^%%$% little *%%&^*& of a *&%&$% *&%&^*&!!!  
  
Cid goes back to sleep.  
  
Yuffie: FINE! Hey Cait, wanna do something?  
  
Cait Sith:(Does not move.)  
  
Yuffie: Fine you fucking peace of......whatever the hell your made of. Hey Tifa and Aeris, lets have a girls night out!  
  
Cid wakes up and punches Yuffie. Vincent stops watching his movie and shoots at Yuffie. Red XIII bites Yuffie. Barret throws the bible at Yuffie. Cloud throws Yuffie out of Costa Del Cloud. Tifa and Aeris are still rolling on the ground tearing at each other's shirts during their cat fight.  
  
Yuffie: (Talking through the window) Cloud lets go see the sunset.  
  
Tifa and Aeris stop their catfight. They walk over to the window and, after slapping Yuffie several times, slam the window shut. They then go back to their cat fight.  
  
Sephiroth: (Looks at Aeris) Didn't I kill you?  
  
Cloud: (Looks at Sephiroth) Didn't I kill you?  
  
Sephiroth and Aeris shrug. Tifa and Aeris start to talk at the same time. Their lips touch and they start making out. Everybody in Costa Del Cloud watch. Vincent turns off Dracula and drags the couch to face the two women. Vincent, Sephiroth, Cloud, and Barret sit down. Cid wakes up. He drags a chair into the room. Then he starts smoking and drinking. For once in his life he is not swearing.  
  
Red XIII: Hey, don't leave me out. Just because I am a different species and don't find this entertaining in the least bit. DAMN IT GIVE ME SOME FOOD!  
  
Yuffie walks through the door with an arm raised triumphantly.  
  
Yuffie: Yes. I finally managed to unlock the door. (Looks at Tifa and Aeris) Nice. Two hotties making out. Anybody got some beer?  
  
Sephiroth and Vincent look at Yuffie.  
  
Sephiroth: Are you a lesbian?  
  
Yuffie: Isn't that obvious?  
  
Vincent: Lesbians are supposed to be hot. DIE BITCH, DIE!  
  
Vincent takes out his gun and starts shooting Yuffie in the head. Finally he runs out of bullets. Sephiroth takes out his Masamunes and slices Yuffie into tiny pieces. By this time Tifa and Aeris have already taken off their shirts and bras.  
  
Cloud: Keep it going. GO GO GO GO! Wait a second. If those two start loving each other, who's gonna love me?  
  
Cloud runs screaming and crying into the bedroom.  
  
Red XIII: GIVE ME SOME DAMN FOOD.  
  
When nobody moves an inch to help Red XIII he walks over to Caith Sith and eats him.  
  
Red XIII: Damn, that tasted good. Good thing it was Cait Sith and nobody important.  
  
Tifa and Aeris were now completley naked.  
  
Sephiroth: Why did I try to kill these people? What kind of a sick bastard am I?  
  
Sephiroth runs into the bedroom where Cloud is cying and.........wanking off o_O Sepheroth runs sreaming out of the bedroom and sits down next to Vincent and Barret again.  
  
Vinent: Is Cloud jacking off?  
  
Sephiroth noddes and bursts into tears. Tifa and Aeris suddenly snap out of their sexy liplock.  
  
Tifa: Were we just making out?  
  
Aeris: I think so.....And why are we naked?  
  
Tifa and Aeris look around at the guys around them and run sreaming into the bedroom, still naked. They see Cloud and jump in the bed with him.  
  
Vincent: Damn.  
  
Cid: Damn.  
  
Sephiroth: Damn.  
  
Barret: Damn.  
  
Yuffie's dead carcass: Damn.  
  
Red XIII: Um, um, um.....Damn?  
  
Rufus: (Appears out of nowhere) Damn.  
  
Reno: (Barges though the door) Damn.  
  
Rude: (Comes through the chimney) Damn.  
  
Tseng: (Opens the window) Damn.  
  
Hugo: (Comes out of the bathroom) So what if I am a milf lover?! I will still say Dam---  
  
Vincent beats Hugo to a bloody pulp with his gun.  
  
In the beach of Costa Del Sol, a massive scream of glee can be heard coming from the bedroom of Costa Del Cloud. Yup. Another normal day in Costa Del Cloud.  
  
The End 


End file.
